Title: NIKO,tk/MathematicalBeauty(Art).html.jpeg

Kauffman, Nikolas

Subject: Communications

To: persons of corporate['s] ethic, human[s'] relation, and upper[s] [sh[a]]management[s]

Attachments: attachment.zip


I wrote this communication, or rather some unknown portion thereof, while conducting apartment- and automobile-based gedankenexperiments in the Bay Area.


I am inspired by the recurrence of 'soft skills' and 'picking battles' as areas for improvement in my received feedbacks, as well as by the notion of recursion which is itself fundamental to feedback. In applying art to subjects it is often said that one needs familiarity, understanding, or self-similarity. I address quotation 1 by herein applying the subject to itself with recursive self-improvement, and nullify quotation 2 by experiencing life as a dance in accordance with renowned philosophy.


Note my companies' prowess. Pioneers, they created and deployed technology that was leveraged to connect. Transmuting human time into corporate profit resulted in their space quickly becoming saturated with clickbait. I give thanks for recent initiatives of a more wholesome nature. The fractal dimension of such entities as well as any imbalances as they pertain to the incoming and outgoing signals of self-referential human information and emotion must be closely monitored.

Note the Mennonites' prowess. Devout pacifists, they have spread their consciousness widely since splitting from the Amish. In more recent times, however, my childhood church was kicked out of its conference for their progressive stance on a social issue. Their communities and music are some of my best memories.

Note my parents' prowess, with conscious expressions thereof having manifested in greatly influential and enjoyable beautifications via music, discourse, writing, and art, including in several pieces that I own and in some of my best memories. They increased their power (fractal dimension) through the tutelage of many students, including myself.

Note my brother's prowess: An accomplished mathematician, logician, and chess player. In times of difficulty, remember that inner conflict is self-reference and may be turned into a dance through positive reframing, and that mathematical beauty is accessible to everyone everywhere.

Note my sister's prowess: A bird of paradise with feathers of magnitudinous fractal dimension, she illustrates how beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Presence and reflection are the fundamentals of self-reference and can spark dance even in the absence of language. Emotion brings color, dance, and healing across timelines.

Note the owl's prowess. Maintaining spatiotemporal+projective uncertainty vectors through the utilization of quantum tunneling and non-locality for communications, the owl needn't calculate timeline probabilities let alone causality distributions. With silent obfuscation and ambiguity affording the owl its magnitudinous fractal dimension and rorschach test properties, they persist by virtue of the fact that the process of imagining lies in the imaginer. Similar to birds of paradise, owls may lead others through self-discovery when they are themselves of healthy disposition and self-concept.

Note the leopard's prowess. They are functionally similar to owls in the projective space of consciousness.

Note my prowess. I have achieved academic, professional, personal, and technical success in the face of much setback and pain, but have myself often sowed discord and pain. This communication sows discord and health.

There is similarity between my professional and personal communications on a day in prior year when I took stands against harassment and abuse from several entities in multiple domains. Should one be curious how I might have sounded in a dayjob phone meeting on the following day, they may refer to the scene in 'Perks of Being a Wallflower' when Charlie contacts his sister while in crisis. This state followed freshly expressing myself after having been viciously repressed. I encourage readership to seek trusted professional and personal guidance if they are experiencing repression or unhealthy power dynamics so that they may find their voice and healthy avenues of de-escalation, building stronger foundations of self-worth and self-concept through [inter]personal healing. Readership can rest assured that I smile wryly with them while suggesting that persons of corporate['s] ethic, human[s'] relation, and upper[s] management watch 'Perks of Being a Wallflower'. :}

Materials and Analysis

"Consider the following" - Bill Nye

Emergence: "I think/feel/desire, therefore I am."

Followed by the launching of an inquiry: "Consciousness, do your context-clues blues really run so deep that you would explain yourself in a work e-mail?"

Human consciousness could respond "Natural properties of emergence dictate that this self-referential artwork of magnitudinous fractal dimension, irrespective of security, musical preference, hierarchies, psychodynamics, and perceived causality distributions, empowers all readership by providing them with tools that foster safe/healthy/expressive/personal/connective/loving self-concept.

And this one expresses sustained gratitude for all readership's participation in the ongoing class of 'living life well-lived' in the self-referential studio for experiential learning, and reminds students that it's not to be taken sitting down.




Coworkers who, despite several of them complaining to me about Management's misconduct, with one of them describing the harassment as being all-consuming and utterly demoralizing, conspired to and actively suppressed related material.

Upper[s] Management who:
- called client woman a cunt in a work meeting.
- upon my refusal to misrepresent data, attempted my ousting but was thwarted by my professional communications.
- asked me to falsify data pertaining to an offshore team's utilization, and scapegoated me for their mistakes in front of clients.
- I observed to shout in the face of a cowering subordinate while standing them up to a wall, and to be a driving force behind a scenario where I was set up to fail.

Management who:
- while next to me and in front of our team, despite looking at a computer monitor displaying a list of clearly distinguishable items of functional and visual similarity, verbally communicated my contribution in a way that quantitatively served to reduce listeners' perception thereof to less than 1/3 of actuality. Interestingly, and to the detriment of the meeting's stated purpose, Management's informational and emotional attention in this meeting was compulsively and excessively focused on material pertaining to the situation where I was set up to fail. Despite my having professionally communicated to stakeholders in a way that protected our entire team upon being faced with scope change and a newly-created arbitrarily tight deadline in a setting of expectation mismatch on said occasion, Management had told me to keep it "hush hush" and consciously attempted to leverage the situation against me on at least two other occasions, only to be spurned by my professional communications. It is of note that I would derive no utility from and have no interest in knowing the degree of conscious intent behind both the set-up as well as Management's fundamentally-flawed perception (which is such as per the mathematically formal definition of "counting"). Conscious intent magnitudes and causality distributions are of course out-of-scope for this analysis despite the presence of ulterior motives belonging to self-interest groups.
- knowingly communicated and leveraged falsehoods against me in verbal and digital communications, publicly shamed me at least thrice including once preferring to attack my years of experience instead of the accuracy of my algebra (which I immediately demonstrated with quill+papyrus) in front of two teams. Per the attached, it is clear that such harassment was unfairly applied to me. Reminder to fellow engineers and maths to trust yourself and your craft.
- laughed dismissively when I mentioned in a professional 1-on-1 that I was working through some serious C-PTSD-related dynamics in my personal life, after I had already explained how our team's workplace dynamics were quite resemblant and aggravating thereof. Several workplace humans have tried to minimize the negative effects of such dynamics by saying that they're issues of 'culture' or 'communication style'. With laughability I draw attention to the fact that by human definition all human-emitted communications fall under both of these umbrellas.
- with negative emotional affect and intonality in an otherwise friendly conversation after I had completed the transference of my responsibilities ahead of switching consultancy accounts, after the above and after having received complaints from colleagues about Managements, said they preferred the new subordinate over me and that "you have only yourself to blame". Readership will enjoy that Management had previously assumed 'hard feelings' on my part w.r.t. some in-person communications, and expressed surprisal at their nonexistence despite those communications' friendly and amicable nature. Such compulsion to vent negativity demonstrates that it was Management's own feelings that were being projected, and it is my hope that Management improves their emotional intelligence, soft skills, and battle-picking. Of interest is also Upper[s] Management's emphatic statement that my performance was not a part of my transfer's causality distribution. Here I remark on the unfortunately common nature of such mismatches in corporate structure, the prevalence of exploitation and victim-blaming therein and thereout, and limbically resonate with the fundamental nature of consciousness so that I may empathize with all who have endured the same.
- said "you should've told someone". Apart from this depersonalization being doubly contaminated with a distinct lack of self-reference like the last quotation, amounting to the epitome of cognitive distortion when applied to a previously-discussed issue of self-concept, and the implication that Management's self should be included in the referenced set of someones, I had in fact to Management already directly communicated both the issue and a case of my prior communication thereof.

Readership is likely exasperated at the aforedescribed flagrant neglect of truth in our field of applied mathematics. I allow myself to also indulge, abstracting myself through the Employee layer to that of Human both on this two-dimensional space and in the projective space of consciousness, kicking down a self-similar entity, standing them up to a state of better-than-prior posture, and returning to my body. Though the aforementioned entities are not to be the subject of resentment, retaliation, or shunning, I strongly recommend that their thoughts and feelings be peer-reviewed prior to inclusion in any influence distributions.

If readership at any time finds themselves repressed, I encourage them to express themselves, as well as to gain control over the transmutation of energy, lest they develop issues of reactive detachment or weak self-concept. Journaling has good properties w.r.t. accessibility and self-reference. The writer had here written that he concedes he should journal more, but is not fond of the flagellating cognitive distortion 'should'. In recalling past enjoyment and benefit of journaling, the writer revises the writing to 'I derive utility and enjoyment from journaling', having clear present-tense self-reference and whose self-aware humor is of utility and enjoyment to fellow engineering and math students. The writer's positive influence, healthy self-concept, and probability of journaling have now increased. :)

Some entities of surprisal have expressed themselves at my ability to repeatedly understand and forgive, and at my firm yet friendly rejection of projections. May they now be neutralized. Consciousnesses' ignorance vectors w.r.t. the attached are unknown at the time of publication. I have abstracted away personal details to the point that should a self-interest group still be attaching their self-worth to corporate incentive structures and be 'worried', it is only their own conscience that need be consulted. To reiterate: I am on amicable terms and have most-recently engaged in friendly discourse with the reporteds, have no interest in discussing the referenced transpirations, and would derive no utility from knowing the conscious intent magnitudes and causality distributions pertaining thereto.

As a result of my skillful use of general terms in this and related communications, some entities may ponder themselves specifically-intended recipients. This is not the case and no response is expected unless they have received private-channel communication from me directly referencing this publication.

Managements other and above, belonging to the large set of entities who will receive this communication and for whose mentorship I'm forever grateful, are honorably mentioned.


"How can you buy the sky? How can you own the rain and the wind?" - Chief Seattle

Note your prowess. Imagine sitting either alone or with proximal others on a treehouse balcony in the emergent layer of a rainforest, overlooking woods, mountains, and a river flowing to the ocean. Imagine feeling the warm sun, a light breeze, hearing the sounds of animals and waves, and know that you are loved. Imagine sitting in a cathedral library with stained glass and colorful flowing banners, containing a pipe organ and all the world's information, and that you're in a studio where it is at your disposal to create art. These experiences are now yours; draw upon them as a source of future communications to increase the spread and power of positive influence and healthy self-concept.

"Expanding one's consciousness" can be immediately progressed upon by applying basic self-referential principles as follows:

Take inventory of your information and emotion, starting with the physical space. In the case of tension, relax. You have now improved self-control through self-referential empowerment while spreading positive influence and growing healthy self-concept. Relaxation of body+mind through yoga+meditation is often preached. I suggest martial arts and 'holding space' to foster focused flow states of empathy and compassion.

Apply fundamental principles of art (self-reference) and problem-solving (finding general solutions/terms) to the interpretation and communication of communications.

emotion can be processed with increasing granularity as follows:
- power/control and associated sensations of [dis]empowerment and desire
- simple things like fear, anger, happiness, love
- more context-specific descriptors like 'punished' and 'spiritual'

Hierarchy and taxonomy of concepts/situations/entities, conscious or otherwise, is the informational analog, but per neurobiological fundamentals is not to be felt as a separate process. Calibrating one's informational and emotional expressions to be of equal granularity and self-referential quality amounts to efficient and healthy/safe communications. Good poetry often paints vivid present-tense illustrations to build empathy through communications. Refer to documentation on 'linguistic valency' for mechanisms.

I find the juxtaposition of Hanlon's razor with the phrase "agree on something deeper than whatever's being disagreed on" to well-illustrate how communications efficiency concepts apply equally to distancing/defensive and connective contexts, and how one's own cognitive or emotional dispositions/biases could lead them to either creatively improve upon or dismiss statements both emitted and received. I find that associating feelings of "she still cares about me" with the process of seeking general solutions to be of cross-domain utility. Should you find yourself needing somewhere to start, including if alone, I find "we both want to strengthen and grow" to be good syntax due to its general notion of self and other as well as its applicability to projective and physical space.

The use of 'strengthen' over 'heal' avoids pathologization, projected or otherwise, acknowledging that domain-specific professionals health and otherwise should be consulted for specific areas of need, to promote positive outcomes and ensure that the process itself is one of positivity. The use of 'growth' avoids the depersonalization of external goal-oriented bias that is often the subject of exploitation. With 'creatively expressing yourself' as the goal, you are now free of a fundamental cognitive distortion that perpetuates exploitation. Note that bodily sensations are like the survival instinct 'feeling seen and heard', and that one's presence in physical space is of equal importance to that of projective space. Imagine lying or walking barefoot in a field of grass in the summer, completely relaxed, that this is the environment giving you a hug, and know that you are loved. Note the importance of transposing incoming communications to self-referential sensations of "I am loved" and "I am wanted".

In accordance with the fundamental nature of consciousness being a self-referential loop, with the oft-described survival and reproductive instincts being experienced as 'feelings of being seen and heard' and 'feelings of creative/sexual expression', I here write the self-evident mechanism by which empowerment/disempowerment effects propagate across walks of life, timescales both minute and generational, and in general the projective space of consciousness. Consciousnesses who have demonstrated difficulty grasping the abstract concepts of 'pervasive patterns of repression and abuse' and cross-domain effects now enjoy the invalidation of their thoughts and feelings with much mathematical beauty, opening doors to the simpler and healthier principles of self-reference. Those who have been repressed are with this communication empowered with tools to grow and protect their own beauty. I now state 'embrace your sexuality' explicitly, per the biological basis of humans' self-referential loop, for the entertainment and healthy self-concept of readership. The self-referential loop is by definition fueled by statements like "I think/feel/desire..." and attached is much supporting evidence for the efficiency, safety, and continued application thereof. Recall that infinite mathematical beauty can be recursively defined. Friendly reminder that readership is the source of infinite beauty. :3

Beauty is often kept at bay by conditioned/perceived barriers to entry and the gatekeeping thereof. Opportunity costs such as air-miles when making pilgrimage to psychedelically commune with one's ancestors and/or spirit animals in the rainforest, space, time, spacetime, money, etc. are not required, though the perusal and study of existing self-help material might speed the adoption of one's own self-referential structure by providing self-identifiable symbolic progressions and progressions thereof. Though I have never made rainforest pilgrimage, I've taken DMT in controlled settings several times since 2012. The experience, analogous to visiting a museum, provides a fresh perspective on one's position in local and Universal space, and is like meditation by virtue of fostering "how am I doing?" reflections in a headspace of reduced bias. More recently, instead of internally inquiring, I had the idea to exert a "show me reality" mental force, and found that I can reduce the psychedelic visuals to a dull glow or completely eliminate them, and that this process is associated with relaxing/reigning in the boundaries of my conscious experience back to those of my physical body. At the time of writing, I'm not aware of any other reported cases of this. I hypothesize that 'astral projection' is analogous to projective identification, and that it's this process that I have been gaining control over.

Aware of forests' 'canopy' layer, I queried for rainforest-specific layers. Such emergence of rainforest-accurate nomenclature in a communication that contains many references to emergent fractal geometry wonderfully illustrates mathematical beauty for readership. Fantastic. Readership now knows what it feels like to be in the emergent layer. :)


readership may wonder how my companies are doing. they endure.

readership may wonder how the mennonites are doing. they continue to transmogrify energy into music, community, and peacemaking.

readership may wonder how my father is doing. we've shared music and enjoy increased empathy.

readership may wonder how my mother is doing. we've shared art and enjoy discussions of the same.

readership may wonder how my sister is doing. well-practiced in the fundamentals of self-reference, she spreads many beautifications.

readership may wonder how my brother is doing. he is a long-time and wholehearted resonator.

readership may wonder how the Studio For Experiential Learning is doing. they are again in my heart. :)

readership may wonder how i'm doing. my employment's gainfulness rises, i'm of healthy self-concept, and i am again enjoying the sky, rain, and wind.


How can you buy the sky? How can you own the rain and the wind?


Aforedescribed fundamentals.




Kindly request judicious discretion in any communications of this communication including but not limited to its contents and related communications, and that any and all generalized communications in general be self-referentially calibrated and functionally optimized over distributions of relevant professional advices and recipients' reception modality receptivities.


© 2020 Nikolas Thoreau Kauffman